just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
