I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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