I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
