'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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