So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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