Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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