ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
