you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
