I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
