And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
