when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
