she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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