those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
