atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
