If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
