I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize