she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
