i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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