totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
