im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
