lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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