dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
