According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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