if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
