Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
