Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
