I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
