if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Enjoy the penises
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
