Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
