i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
