To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
