I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Holy sore nipples Batman
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
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