I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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