It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
