I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
