i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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