I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
