I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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