VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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