If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
