**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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