He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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