I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
