Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
