Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
