How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Its about making memories worth repressing
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
