I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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