Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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