so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
