Kareoke will never be a sober sport
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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