I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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