Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
