the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
