and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
