Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
This is my gift to your gina
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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