do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Randomize
