but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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