the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
