Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
