Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We left an ass print on the piano.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
