whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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