this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
