Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
